Western Theology, Brennan Manning
Hey guys,
I am including a long excerpt below from"Lion and Lamb - The relentless tenderness of Jesus", a book by Brennan Manning that I first read in 1995. I was drawn to Manning's discussion of Jesus most likely because it reminded me so much of Lewis' depiction of Christ as the great Aslan here:
“Ooh!” said Susan, “I’d thought he was a man. Is he – quite safe? I shall feel rather nervous about meeting a lion.”
“That you will, dearie, and no mistake,” said Mrs. Beaver; “if there’s anyone who can appear before Aslan without their knees knocking, they’re either braver than most or else just silly.”
“Then he isn’t safe?” said Lucy.
“Safe?” said Mr. Beaver; “don’t you hear what Mrs. Beaver tells you? Who said anything about safe? ‘Course he isn’t safe. But he’s good. He’s the King I tell you.”
[C.S. Lewis, The Chronicles of Narnia; The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe. (New York: Harper Trophy) 79-80]
This is what hooked me with Manning's book, he introduces both sides of Jesus. Lion of the tribe of Judah, certainly. The sacrificial Lamb of God, definitely. Both ends of the spectrum, like the tenderness and fierceness Lewis shows us with his Aslan. Lion and Lamb is a quick read, well-worn by me, and an easy one for you guys to find in my library.
In this book, he has a particularly good section that I return to again and again describing the behavior of the visible church. His discussion is set in the fictional world of the wild west. To save you the time it would take to find the book, I have included it for you below:
WESTERN THEOLOGY
“According to Wes Seeliger in his book Western Theology, there are two kinds of people, two visions of life. The first sees life as a possession to be carefully guarded. They are called Settlers. The second sees life as a wild, fantastic gift. They are called Pioneers.
These two types give rise to two kinds of theology: Settler Theology and Pioneer Theology. Settler Theology is an attempt to answer all the questions, define and housebreak some sort of Supreme Being, establish the status quo on golden tablets in cinemascope. Pioneer Theology is an attempt to talk about what it means to receive the strange gift of life. The Wild, Wild West is the setting for both theologies.
In Settler Theology, the Church convenes at the Courthouse. It is the center of town life. The old stone structure dominates the town square. Its windows are small, and this makes things dark inside. Within the courthouse walls, records are kept, taxes collected, and trials are held for the bad guys. The courthouse is the symbol of law, order, stability, and most importantly, security.
In Pioneer Theology, the Church moves in a Covered Wagon. It’s a house on wheels, always on the move. The Covered Wagon is where the pioneers eat, sleep, fight, love, live and die. It bears the marks of life and movement—it creaks, it’s scarred with arrows and bandaged with bailing wire. The Covered Wagon is where the action is. It moves toward the future, trying not to get bogged down in old ruts. The old Wagon isn’t comfortable, but the pioneers don’t seem to mind. They are more into adventure than comfort.
In Settler Theology, God is the Mayor. He is slick and fancy like a dude from back East. His office is on the top floor of the Courthouse. He looks out over the whole town, as his eagle eye ferrets out the smallest details of town life. No one actually sees him or gets close to him. He keeps his blinds drawn. But since there is order in the town, who can deny that he is really there? The Mayor is predictable and always on schedule. The Settlers fear the Mayor, but look to him to clear the payroll and keep things running. Peace and quiet are the Mayor’s main concerns, so he sends the Sheriff to check out any Pioneers who might ride into town.
In Pioneer Theology, God is the Trail Boss. He is rough and rugged, full of life. He chews tobacco, drinks straight whiskey. The Trail Boss lives, eats, sleeps, and fights with his people. Their well‑being is his concern. Without him, the Wagon wouldn’t move and living free would be impossible. The Trail Boss will get down in the mud with the Pioneers to help push the Wagon, which often gets stuck. He prods the Pioneers when they get soft and want to turn back. His fist is an expression of his concern.
In Settler Theology, Jesus is the Sheriff. He’s the guy who is sent by the Mayor to enforce the rules. He wears a white hat, drinks milk, outdraws the bad guys. The Sheriff decides who gets thrown in jail. There is a saying in town that goes: those who follow the rules and believe that the Sheriff is sent by the Mayor, they won’t stay in Boothill when it comes their time.
In Pioneer Theology, Jesus is the Scout. He rides out ahead of the Wagon to find out which way the Pioneers should go. The Scout faces all the dangers of the Trail and suffers every hardship. He is even attacked by the Indians. Through his words and actions he reveals the true intentions of the Trail Boss. By following the Scout, those on the Trail learn what it means to be a true Pioneer.
In Settler Theology, the Holy Spirit is the Saloon Girl. Her job is to comfort the Settlers. They come to her when they feel lonely or when life gets dull or dangerous. She tickles them under the chin and makes everything okay again. The Saloon Girls also squeals to the Sheriff whenever someone starts disturbing the peace.
In Pioneer Theology, the Holy Spirit is the Buffalo Hunter. He rides along with the Covered Wagon and furnishes fresh meat for the Pioneers. They would die without it (and him). The Buffalo Hunter is a strange character—sort of a wild man. The Pioneers never can tell what he’ll do next. He scares the hell out of the Settlers. He has a big, black gun that goes off like a cannon. He rides into town on Sunday morning to shake up the Settlers. You see, every Sunday morning, the Settlers have a little ice cream party in the Courthouse. With his gun in hand, the Buffalo Hunter sneaks up to one of the Courthouse windows. Then he fires a tremendous blast that rattles the whole Courthouse. Men jump out of their skin, women scream, dogs bark. Chuckling to himself, the Buffalo Hunter rides back to the Wagon Train shooting up the town as he goes.
In Settler Theology, the Pastor (the clergyman) is the Banker. Within his vault are locked the values of the town. He is a highly respected man. He has a gun, but keeps it hidden in his desk. He feels that he and the Sheriff have a lot in common. After all, they both protect the Bank.
In Pioneer Theology, the Pastor is the Cook! He doesn’t furnish the meat. He just dishes up what the Buffalo Hunter provides. This is how he supports the movement of the wagon. He sees himself as just another Pioneer who has learned to cook. The Cook’s job is to help the Pioneers pioneer. He doesn’t confuse his job with that of the Trail Boss, the Scout, or the Buffalo Hunter.
In Settler Theology, the Christian is the Settler. He fears the open, unknown frontier. His concern is to stay on good terms with the Mayor and keep out of the Sheriff’s Way. “Safety First” is his motto and the Courthouse is his symbol of security, peace, order, and happiness. He keeps his money in the bank. The Banker is his best friend. The Settler never misses an ice cream party.
In Pioneer Theology, Christians are Pioneers. They are persons of daring, hungry for new life. They ride hard, and know how to use a gun when necessary. The Pioneer feels sad for the Settlers and tries to tell them of the joy and fulfillment of life on the Trail. They die with their boots on.
In Settler Theology, Faith is trusting in the safety of the town; obeying the Law and keeping their noses clean; and believing the Mayor is up there in the Courthouse.
In Pioneer Theology, Faith is the spirit of adventure; the readiness to move out; the willingness to risk everything on the Trail. Faith is obedience to the restless voice of the Trail Boss.
In Settler Theology, Sin is breaking one of the Town’s ordinances.
In Pioneer Theology, Sin is wanting to turn back.
In Settler Theology, Salvation lies in living close to home and going to the Courthouse.
In Pioneer Theology, Salvation rests in being more afraid of a sterile life in Town, than of death on the Trail. Pioneers find joy in the thought of another day to push on into the unknown Wilderness. They realize their Salvation by trusting the Trail Boss and following his Scout, while living on the meat provided by the Buffalo Hunter.
The Settlers and the Pioneers portray in cowboy-movie language the People of the Law and the People of the Spirit. In the time of the historical Jesus, the guardians of the ecclesiastical setup, the scribes and the Pharisees and the Sadducees, had hunkered down in the Courthouse and enslaved themselves to the Law. This not only enhanced their prestige in society, it also gave them a sense of Security. Man fears the responsibility of being free. It is often easier to let others make the decisions or to rely up the letter of the Law. Some men want to be slaves.
[excerpted from The Lamb and The Lion by Brennan Manning, 1988, pgs. 23-27]
I realize this is a very allegorical look at theology and that we can only find true theology in God's Word. If you asked me to provide accurate analogies and definitions, as your father I would probably send you to the confessions, creeds and catechisms (how very Settler sounding ;-) ). With that said, I have always loved this discussion, so enjoy his depiction for what it is worth.
I have a few favorite parts that stand out to me, but I continue to enjoy the section about salvation. "Salvation rests in being more afraid of a sterile life in Town, than of death on the Trail." I can't help but think of Jesus' ministry and the calling of the disciples to follow Him (Matthew 4:19). You boys have been called to live life out on the trail or as I've said in the "market place" (which so often coincides with popular culture).
"Pioneers find joy in the thought of another day to push on into the unknown Wilderness...by trusting the Trail Boss and following his Scout, while living on the meat provided by the Buffalo Hunter." I said this in my last letter, but everything we do is on behalf of the Gospel and in light of God’s truth. You are reliant upon God's Word and remember that you live to please an audience of one!
In a few more days I will follow up with a discussion about life as a "settler." One thing mom and I have noticed is that many people live in fear of the trail, in fear of the unknown, because the comfort of the settlement is easy and safe. Until then, remember that no one said living out your faith would be safe.
Love you, Dad
Quietly making noise,
Fletch
A quick note to the young men at my table...
"Each generation of the church in each setting has the responsibility of communicating the gospel in understandable terms, considering the language and thought-forms of that setting."
Francis Schaeffer
Hey guys,
It seems like most of the discussions around our table lately continue to focus upon how we should interact with the world/our culture. Whether it is concerns you've raised or something I've published in theMangoTimes or even some of the challenging sermons that continue to raise the topic, it seems as though this discussion has been pieced together through many conversations over the past year.
I've chronicled a few thoughts here on theMT about interactions with culture and several readers have suggested that I include more postings on this same topic. Mom and I have enjoyed the discussions we've shared around our own table with you guys. We enjoy hearing your perspective and understanding of God's word as they have added to the discussion about how we fulfill our roles as ambassadors for Christ. I would like to include some of our thoughts here on theMangoTimes. As we continue to encourage one another to understand the world, let us remember that we ALWAYS do this on behalf of the furtherance of the Gospel and in light of God's truth.
I have included a Francis Schaeffer quote at the top of this post that I recently stumbled upon. This quote triggered in me a few thoughts. I'm not sure when Schaeffer said this, but I will assume it was the 1960's or 1970's. It has since been more than thirty years and the terms, language and thought-forms that he suggests have again changed. Let me encourage you guys to not avoid the opportunity God has given you. Do not be afraid to take the Good News into the world, that is where it is needed most. I remind you guys over and over that the gospel is very easy, but let me encourage you to find where the conversations are taking place. Join those conversations, and learn how to take the good news of the kingdom into those places. Don't live in fear of man, but live in the fear of God which will lead you to wisdom.
One warning: Don't be surprised if you are criticized. I have found that when I choose to share a meal with "tax collectors and wine-bibbers" there are plenty of skeptics that feed themselves on their own assumptions. Let me remind you that Jesus spent plenty of time in the temple and a lot more time on the road and in the houses of both pharisees and followers. His life was uncomfortable and unsafe. More often than not He received sharp rebukes. Remember, while Jesus did sit, eat and lounge with many people His ministry was not to partake. He was the one bringing the bread that satisifies and He was the one bringing the water that quenches thirst.
We love you guys and love how you keep your faith in Christ real! We pray that you will continue to see how Christianity is relevant to every aspect of life.
Quietly Making Noise,
Fletch
Things not to buy me for Christmas, Part 2
I see a series developing here...
I would actually be interested in this one if the milk was real, but since it is some fake white water mixture I think I will pass. This toy is "udderly" ridiculous...
Quietly making noise,
Fletch
Things not to buy me for Christmas
Quietly making noise,
Fletch
Charlie Brown, The Gospel and Malaria Intervention
Last night, we wrapped up our 2009 Advent in the Barn party. We welcomed just over 100 guests on a very rainy night to our chilly barn. Our party welcomed guests from all areas of our life. We had old friends and new friends gathered from work, church, family, facebook, high school, college, and even my favorite barista at our local coffee shop! For those that joined us, we hope you enjoyed our time in the barn while the rain and lightning continued outside.
This year we learned all about the real meaning of Christmas from the Peanuts gang while watching "A Charlie Brown Christmas" together on the big screen. We were reminded of the good news of the advent by a short message from our special guest, Pastor Tim Stevenson of Horizon Bible Church. (On a side note, Pastor Tim is the guy that married us back in 1991 and it was nice to have him back after all these years!).
Every year we are also very intentional to encourage our guests to spend less on the "junk" of Christmas and invest in true needs around the world. My best friend Eric and his wife are advocates for Compassion International, so this year we targeted Compassion's Malaria Intervention program called BiteBack (www.biteback.net). We showed a quick video and then reminded our guests that for $10 they could purchase a mosquito net. The details are in this quick video I created below:
If you couldn't make it, we missed you! If you were there, we hope you enjoyed yourself with us!
Quietly making noise (and repeating the sounding joy!),
Fletch
Good News
We live in an age where words and definitions are twisted. Calling oneself a Christian or an evangelical or a fundamentalist can unpack a truckload of definitions and baggage. Here at theMangoTimes we often speak of "the gospel." Unfortunately, even a simple term like "the gospel" has been beaten up by so many, that the word itself has lost some definition.The first four books of the New Testament?...those are called the gospels. Is that what I am referring to on theMT when I say "the gospel?"
The life of Christ is also often referred to as the gospel. Is that what I mean? The life of Christ?
For the purpose of theMangoTimes, I want to define what it means when I refer to the gospel or quite literally the good news!
The Bad News
If the gospel (God's story) can begin to be defined as the good news, what then is the "bad news." Scripturally, God defines the bad news in the third chapter of the book of Romans. It is in this passage where the apostle Paul discusses our current state.
Romans 3:23 "For all have sinned and fall short of the Glory of God"
Simply put, Paul says that we are all sinners and we fall short of God's standard: His glory. It's not even good enough to say that we are ambivalent to God, because elsewhere the Bible describes us as enemies of God. Whether we believe it or acknowledge it, the Bible says that we are engaged in active resistance to God and His will.
The Really Bad News
As if being in active rebellion to God as a sinner is not enough, God declares what we will earn for our rebellion. Again, in the book of Romans, God shows us where our sin will lead us.
Romans 6:23 "For the wages of sin are death, but the gift of life is eternal life in Christ Jesus."
If we remain in our sin, if we remain separated from God, as an enemy of God, it will lead us only one place: death! The Bible goes on to say that this is an eternal separation from God and His involvement in our lives.
The Beginning of the Good News
The best thing about the gospel is that it is begins and ends with God and His grace. Even better is that God makes the first move. In the fifth chapter of Romans, the Bible says this:
Romans 5:8 "God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us."
He didn't wait for us to clean up our lives or deal with our own sin. It says that in loving us, God sent His son to die for us.
Our Response to the Good News
While we were sinners and separated from God, He moves to save us through the death, burial and bodily resurrection of His son Jesus Christ to redeem us for our sins. That is more than good news, that is great news! Yet, it may cause some to assume they are puppets on some cosmic string. Not the case at all. God is looking for a response.
Romans 10:9 "If you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For with the heart one believes and is justified, and with the mouth one confesses and is saved."
Jesus Christ is not just a savior, but Lord. Therefore He expects us to acknowledge Him as such.
How Then Shall We Live?
In a few short paragraphs, I've shown how the bad news becomes good news. I've shown how a life apart from God and pointed to death can be a life unto God that points to salvation. The remaining question is simple: What do we do with our lives once they have been redeemed back to God? Keeping in the book of Romans, Paul answers that very question.
Romans 12:1-2 "Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God—this is your spiritual act of worship. Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.
This verse is clear. "In view of God's mercy," or "because of what God has done," therefore do these things. Notice again, we do these things as a direct result of what God has already done for us.
I can't make it any easier than these verses. The gospel is clear. The good news is that we were sinners and God saved us through the life, death and resurrection of Christ. We need to turn to Him through confession and repentance for salvation. Simple. Gracious. Merciful. Yet, this will be a stumbling block for many who hear this message. It's my hope that this post contained words of life for you.
Quietly Making Noise,
Fletch
Church Music
#1 - The Breakfast Song. The first of our duos. How do you expect to grow the church by telling people there is "No Mo Bacon!" In my house alone that is going to turn people away from the faith! After watching this video, I'm not hungry for breakfast. Actually, I'm just not hungry at all.
#2 - Go Tell It On The Mountain. The second entry in our category: Singers That Sound Worse Together. Pay attention to this video, and see if you can decipher the hidden theme: flowers. I'm thinking funeral flowers...as in, my ears just died. I think this is the version where they encouraged Henrietta and Merna to "not smile so much." My suggestion is this: Go "sing" this on a mountain...high on a mountain...far away from people.
#3 - Something something something something. So, when someone says to you, "Hey, we need to make a video recording of your choir try-out, but this will only be for in-house purposes...it won't even leave the music ministry department...blah blah blah..." First, DO NOT believe them. Second, never use your real name. This one is my personal favorite.
Quietly Making Noise,
Fletch
Repost - "Love Thy Neighbor
Today on facebook,
linked to a great post about a very bold and practical application of loving thy neighbor.
(Click on the image to link to and read the post).
The person in this article did not shy away from her neighbors. She confidently entered their world, attempted to see things from their perspective and then boldly explained that she was there to love her neighbors. You can assume from my link to this article, that I liked what I read. Most of you know that this is something I would probably do myself...if only I lived in a more urban environment. ;)
Let me ask the readers of theMT, did this woman engage the culture? Was this an appropriate step in reaching out to her neighbors and beginning to share the love of Christ with them? Let me know what your overall impressions were of this story.
Quietly making noise,
Fletch
I'm Engaged...
For the last few weeks, I've been reading a new book called "A Matrix of Meanings" about finding God in pop-culture. Both of the authors share a conviction and build the premise that Christians need to be engaged in the culture for the purpose of bringing the Gospel into discussions that are void of truth.
Do I agree? In my experience, I've seen opposition to pop culture that is based solely on fear. There are those Christians that are fearful of the influence that popular culture will have on their lives. Others have chosen to sequester themselves from any cultural influence for the "fear of appearances." In their concern for what others may see, they don't want to be seen as partakers in the "things of this world." Others choose not to be engaged in culture, because it represents a lifestyle they are trying to run away from and the threat to return is too great.
Regardless, there are many reasons and the writers have recognized that many Christians avoid popular culture for a variety of those reasons. Based on that premise, I have enjoyed the majority of their discussion included in this book.
Hoping this would be a quick read or even a "giveaway" book, some of their conclusions may be a bit too academic for some and their discussions tend toward being complex. In many ways this is more of a text-book than a simple commentary on culture. Personally, as I choose to represent Christ in a very God-less culture, I still tend to think that the Gospel message is very simple and easy to convey, even so these authors have seeded several thoughts about what I am doing with my life and my faith.
Consider the following excerpts from the Introduction:
"There is a conversation about God going on in popular culture that the church is not engaged in and is often unaware of. If the Christian world continues in its scholastic mode, viewing culture as degraded and superficial, then the gap between church and culture will continue to widen. Our theological propositions will become increasingly redundant to a culture being influenced by other forces."
I've seen this first hand. Christians are unable to engage in the conversation, because they refuse to even enter the arena of popular culture. What I like about this statement is the acknowledgment that whether you like it or not, the conversation is taking place. There are movies and music being produced daily that calls into question God's existence and His attributes. Absolute truth is sacrificed daily on the altar of relativism. This weekend, the number one movie in nationwide theaters displayed adultery as common and acceptable. I'm not suggesting anyone fork out money on this trash, but be willing to at least know what Hollywood is producing and what a Biblical response should be. From the death of Micheal Jackson flooding across Twitter to the Twilight hype to the Serena Williams outburst at the US Open, you can choose to ignore these as over-hyped events or understand that like everyone else in the world, you are welcome to join the conversation?
"The Gospels were written for "the people." Educated Greeks in the first century communicated in Attic Greek, a high cultural form that excluded many. But the writers of the Gospels preferred Koine Greek, a "street-level" language that communicated to the masses. We must get back to that street-level discussion, where our faith was forged. People of faith need to become conversant with the new canon, the new literacy, and join the new conversation."
Of course Jesus did not create fans out of the religious elite of his day. The religious leaders were not comfortable with Jesus' approach, because it was both "common" and "convicting." 2,000 years later and not a lot has changed. The cineplex, a U2 concert, or even an online community developed for social networking can each elicit negative reactions from certain corners of Christendom. Jesus spent equal time in the temple and it was there that He engaged (and sometimes outraged) the leaders of His day, but His ministry also took Him and His disciples back out to the street, to the highways and into the homes of those in the Judean community.
"...he directed blistering challenges to the prevailing trends within his own religious tradition. His approach differs from many of the theological ethos developed within traditional theology that have been shaped by internal concerns about he church and its teachings. We contend that the marketplace (the cultural hot seat) was Jesus' academic arena, his theological context...Ideas are exchanged in the marketplace. the dramas of life, lived between the wedding song and the funeral march, are played out in the marketplace...The belly of messy culture is also the place where questions of ultimate existence and realities are posed in naked, stripped-down fashion, devoid of the religious language of etiquette and propriety. In the marketplace, doubts are aired, gloves come off, politeness takes a rest."
This is the part of their book that really echoed with me. For much of my Christian life, I have been drawn to the marketplace. What I would give to see Jesus lounging with the sinners and what an impression that would make on so many other folks today. You see, I'm not drawn to the little house on the prairie. Paraphrasing Brennan Manning in his book, Lion and Lamb, life takes place on the trail away from the complacency and safety of town life.
"Pop culture is our marketplace-the arena we visit daily ,to discover what it means to be human, to hear the questions society asks, to meet God."
Here is the basic premise put forth by the authors. Our "marketplace" our "arena" is popular culture. From music, to movies, to television, to sports, to social media, we are saturated in pop culture and the marketing associated with pop culture. I see two basic responses.
The first is to flee and ignore what the world is doing, producing, shouting, marketing, selling...preaching! Consider that if Christ or his followers had done that we would find no encouragement in scripture from the cast of characters that include Levi, Mary, Martha, Andrew, Tabitha, Peter, Paul, and the list goes on...
The second response is just the opposite. Take the time required to learn, listen and discover what the conversations are about, what the directors are saying, what the musicians are recording, what the television is preaching, what the writers are publishing, and what your "friends" are tweeting. Then, take the time to get involved with the conversation. Like Christ with the Samaritan woman at the well, stop and enter the conversation with those that least expect it. Realize that His conversation with her has nothing to do with the water she can get for Him, but it has everything to do with the water He is able to offer her.
Quietly Making Noise,
Fletch
On my iPod - Artists Beginning with "T"
"Talking Heads" - As a child of the 80's (not my favorite decade for music and pop culture), it is pretty clear why I would have a little TH on my iPod. I never understood a word they said, but I knew when to shout "Burning Down the House." Definitely qualifies for the back porch...Trampoline music for sure!
"Tesla" - Another band created in the 80's, right out of the central valley. Not as popular as most bands, but they were right there during the rise of Bon Jovi and VH. They jumped on the unplugged bandwagon and made a great acoustic set too. Perfect for the pool crowd.
"Thelonius Monk" - If you don't own any TM, stop reading and go buy his "Best of..." album...it will only lead to many more! Make a pot of coffee and enjoy his riffs...perfect for the fire-pit late night portion of the back porch party.
"Toby Keith" - If I am going to listen to country music, it is going to be a bad boy like TK or Willy. "I Love This Bar" sounds like something you might here on our back porch.
The Traveling Wilburys - What a band and what a bummer that they were so brief! Harrison, Petty, Lynne, Orbison and Dylan made the late 80's radio worth listening to. "Every-bodys got some-body to leeaann on!" Purpose on the back porch: Fletch's blender music!Quietly Making Noise,
Fletch
Ridiculous Candy #14 - Toilet Candy, #2
You may remember this candy from an earlier post. However, I have included this posting for three reasons:
First, note they have modified the candy, now it is called "Sour Flush." Apparently, the candy makers were missing an entire population of toilet candy patrons. After thorough research (I'm certain!), it was discovered that the success of the plunger pop - candy toilet crystal phenomenon could reach even new heights if they made the candy sour! So, like many companies, they have merely taken the first candy and added a sour component (i.e. Skittles becomes Sour Skittles). I still think they need to come up with a chocolate component to be housed inside the plastic bowl! (Mmmm yumm! Would you mind if I barf just a little bit right now?).
Second, I included this candy because it was delivered to me after 12,000 miles of travel. A faithful reader named Rebecca found this tasty toilet treat in Singapore and carried it with her to a wedding in Holland, where she met up with Yvette who then delivered it the rest of the way to my dental office in California. How is that for international coverage?
Third, at the same time I received the international toilet pop, I was given the same candy to review by Mangoboy #3, who found it in our favorite seaside candy store. It was like a sign! I knew this one needed to receive a 2nd mention in theMT.
So, thank you to Rebecca for your submission (and Yvette for the delivery!) and Jack for finding it!
Quietly making noise,
Fletch
On My iPod - Artists Beginning with "M"
I haven't followed up with this theme lately, but wanted to resurrect the topic again. Here is a small sample of my favorite music on my iPod."The Monkees" - I'm a child of the 1970's and the Monkees crossed over between music and television. I wanted to ride the Last Train to Clarkesville. I wanted to be a Believer. I "was just tryin' to be friendly"...
"Michael Feinstein" - We own several of his albums, but my favorite is his collection of classic kids songs like "Lydia the Tattoo Lady" and "Ferdinand the Bull."
"Miles Davis" - Every collection needs a bit of Miles. Right now, I'm listening to "So What" but anything on my playlist by him is great stuff!
"Men Without Hats" - There was really only one song...and every teenager from the eighties knew how to sing The Safety Dance. "S...S...S...S... A...A...A...A... F...F...F...F...etc..." (You are singing it right now aren't you?).
"Musical Youth" - Again not to camp on the eighties, but every time this song is played my kids want to know what it means to "Pass the Dutchie." Growing up it was just a cool song, it's only now that I found out it was about smoking.
"Matt Costa" - This is a gimme...with his clean vocals and great acoustic guitar, he's a family favorite on the back porch. Hop in one of the hammocks, pop on his song "Sunshine" and I'm down for the count.
Quietly Making Noise,
Fletch
Ridiculous Candy #13 - Tapeworm Candy, again
The new and improved "gummy" tapeworm
I have already posted about this ridiculous candy before. However, it is apparent that the last version of this intestinal snack was so wildly successful that they needed to repackage this treat. They have made some changes with this new version, let's consider what has improved:
* It is no longer gum, now it is "gummy" - not sure if this is an improvement or not. I'll admit that gummy is more like a worm, but consider the marketing and sales opportunity they've lost. If they kept this as gum, they could try to sell kids on the idea that if you actually swallow the tapeworm gum you get to enjoy the whole seven years it lives in your digestive tract (just like real tapeworms!). They could even sell follow-up "Tapeworm Food" (TicTacs).
* It is now vacuum packed - total improvement, because now you get to see the real deal. This is not just a cartoon tapeworm on the front of the package. Now, you get the full visual experience before laying down your cash on the counter. I love how this is a lobular brown mass superimposed on a cartoon pink intestine - mmmm yumm!
* It is now Apple Flavored - Improvement, I guess...although what flavor is a tape-worm? They could have really wowed us and made it Cranberry Apple flavor (Crapple?).
* It is now 19 inches long - Total Improvement. I fully assume the next version to be bigger (think: pixie stix and then jumbo pixie stix).
I didn't take a picture, but the back of the packaging contains "Tape Worm Facts." Clearly, this candy should appeal to those of us in the homeschool crowd that love to learn in all situations (even when you are eating lower digestive tract themed parasitic candy): "Hey Mom! (with candy tape worm stuck to teeth), did you know that tape worms can grow up to 30 feet long?"
Quietly Making Noise,
Fletch
Fuzz Buzz Friday Night
I searched theMangoTimes and
realized that I have written several times
about the famous Fletcher
"Fuzz Buzz"
without ever offering the recipe. Since this
adult slurpee
is a summertime staple around our kitchen and it's been a scorcher in the Central Valley this past week, I thought I would finally break open the vault and let everyone enjoy these frozen summer beauties. Have a great weekend and enjoy the photos of these yummy treats (Read: I expect to be invited over...).
Fuzz Buzz (makes a pitcher)
4 peaches (remove pit, but leave on skin...that's the fuzz part)
1 large can limeade
Vodka (that's the buzz part)
Ice (to taste)
Combine all ingredients and blend until thick, icy and smooth. Pour into glasses and enjoy!
"Fresh Peaches (We hand picked ours tonight!)"
"One can frozen limeade"
"Ice, ice, ice..."
"Blend until smooth and icy"
Quietly Making Noise,
Fletch
***Yes, yes, yes...these are adult slurpees, and I left out pictures of the vodka, so don't forget to add one can vodka for each batch. Of course, if you want the "kid version" you can leave the vodka out. That's how the mangokids like them! Cheers!
11 Things You Don't Know About My Dad
In honor of Father's Day, I asked Mangoboy#1 to be a guest columnist for theMangoTimes. Here is what he came up with:
Dear theMangoTimes Readers,
As I was composing this list of eleven things that you don't know about my dad, I realized the complexity of this subject. You probably know (being the MT readers) that dad once came up with a quiz about himself which let out a few "secrets" about his life that I could have revealed here. For instance, you most likely know that he originally wanted to be a judge, not a dentist. You also probably know that he actually does not like mangos (shoot, that would have been a good one). And there are lots of other things that he has written about over the years on this blog/site, things which I could have used.
Needless to say, it has taken a lot of digging to unearth these ten secrets that you don't know about my dad. So, in honor of Father's Day, I present to you The Official List of Eleven Things That You Don't Know about My Dad/Fletch:
1. He goes into the strangest conversations with us whenever we give him a back/body/foot rub (for example, I remember one particular instance when we asked him why we couldn't finish the rest of a movie we were watching and he said, "Because the muffins ate dinner." Huh?). This, however, is very good for getting to play video games, as the answer will typically be what you want it to be (yes).
2. His favorite apparel for going to the grocery store is a ripped tie-dye t-shirt that he homemade and a pair of shorts with a hole in a very "uncomfortable" place. Oh yes, and let us not forget the orange sun bleached "Grumpy the Dwarf" hat.
3. When he actually plays my brother's and my video games, he does not take pleasure in the fact that he has passed a level. Oh no; he would much rather stay up for hours to beat our butts by getting an unbeatable high score.
4. He does not like chocolate and fruit combos.
5. His cooking specialty? French toast. But that's not all: when mom is gone at a retreat or something, he likes to "spice things up a bit" by making up his own food "creations" for our "enjoyment." To name a few, there were the "Pizza-dillas," quesadillas with pizza sauce in them, the "Pesto-dillas," quesadillas with pesto sauce in them, and lots of other "Blank-a-dillas" (we have lots of quesadillas when mom is gone, I notice).
6. He drives me around in an open-topped VW Thing at 6:30 a.m.every morning in the freezing cold and he sings (screams) at the top of his lungs to fellow work-goers with windows rolled down and he likes it.
7. He messed up his shoulder a few years ago and it still hurts him to this day.
8. He does these things that my brothers and I refer to as music stages. When he does these, he sticks to listening to one genre of music for like a month, and then he switches to another genre for about a month. For example, there was the "Foreign Music Month," composed mainly of Italian and Mexican music, which shortened to the "Mexican Music Month," which transferred to the "Classical Music Month," and so on and so forth.
9. He really, really likes to make up his own versions of popular songs (Happy Birthday, I had a Little Turtle, and others). These songs are typically about us (his kids) and they are typically not good. Like the ever popular "I know a girl named ____, she is very sweet. But when she takes her shoes off, she has real stinky feet." And the bad thing is that he's actually good at adlibbing or singing. Seriously, he should record some of these things. That would get him quite a few hits on the MT.
10. He has this lame joke that one of his friends emailed him and uses it on practically every patient that comes into his dental office. It goes something like this:
Dad: Knock-knock.
Gullible patient: Who's there?
Dad: I'm a pile up.
And now you can fill in the blanks (wait about five seconds, deep sigh accompanied with a few stifled giggles).
11. He's a better dad than your dad.
So there you have it: a list of eleven things that you never knew about my dad. Well, unless you're me, who has to live with him and endure this stuff every day. And who am I? Well, he refers to me as "MangoBoy #1" on the MT, so I'll stick with that for now.
Sincerely,
MangoBoy #1
ridiculous candy #12 - next to the last supper gum
Ah yes...after reviewing a variety of ridiculous candies, I think this one qualifies for a category all to itself: Blasphemous Candy.
Sure, when working at a candy company and it's time to name your new candy...why not search the pages of scripture for a witty title? After her recent candy purchases, Kendra arrived home with this little gem: "Next To the Last Supper Gum."
"Blows perfect blasphemy bubbles"
For real double bubble trouble, they could have paved the path to hell a lot faster and just referred to it as "Jehovahlicious" or "Blood of Christ bubbly freshness." Actually, this is good gum to chew when using your "Pencil Top Jesus."
"Savor the Savior's favorite?"
You also get this handy trading card. Note how "European Jesus" is holding the piece of gum which is shining...apparently it is illuminated with it's own minty freshness...
"Gum to chew while you are being stoned"
This reminds me of those cheesy Christian tee-shirts which used to look like a Budweiser label, but instead said "Be wiser" and instead of the "King of Beers," it said "King of Kings." thanks Kendra...this gum wins the editor's nomination for most ridiculous candy!
Quietly making noise,
Fletch
PS...I just ate a piece and it wasn't bad at all, so i swallowed it
ridiculous candy #11 - candy ear wax
"candy ear wax"
had they only thought of this in time, they could have included it as a package deal with this other tasty treat, but i'm pretty sure there is not a lot of cooperation in the gross candy fabrication industry.
on another note, i'm not sure what these candy wizards are thinking about by making edible candy out of bodily emissions. seriously? have you watched any preschoolers lately? they do just fine eating their own boogers, ear wax, finger nails, etc... i don't think we need to encourage them in any way, shape, or form. i've already got a few in my house that are finding those convenient nose holes and ear holes filled with a variety of hidden treats. i am not buying candy that mimics picking, digging and tasting...
quietly making noise,
fletch
Ridiculous Candy #10 - Gummy Heart
Thanks to my old fraternity brother and long time reader of theMangoTimes (let's just call him "Chuck"), I am able to show you one more entry in the ridiculous candy category.
Photo Courtesy Chuck Batchelder
There are two clear benefits to this candy. First, it proclaims to be anatomically accurate and comes with the nifty biological cardboard backing, so you can study both the musculoskeletal system as well as the bronchial airway system while chewing on your candy heart. Second, as mentioned this candy has a "sweet strawberry flavor" which I find to be advantageous over the smoky beef jerky flavor they could have chosen to use (personally, I think the jerky flavor would have been more accurate).
I have a couple of questions though...taking a peak at this candy, why is it a black heart? Probably because the patient was a smoker, right? When "Chuck" sent this suggestion to me, it included the following note: "I saw these candies at the local hardware store and couldn’t help but think of you and all the great candy you have blogged about." Which leads me to wonder...what type of hardware store sells anatomically accurate candy hearts?
Quietly making noise,
Fletch
Byron Wolfe - my favorite photographer
My long time friend and favorite photographer is Byron Wolfe. our relationship started back in college at the now infamous Wine Wizards where we met a variety of characters, wines, and cheeses (each with their own story). These years knowing byron (and his family) and his photography have been laced with great memories, fun conversations and very deep side splitting laughter. My house and office contain different prints of his work, but more than anything else, it has been his style and philosophy of photography that has inspired my desire to even try to make pictures and he was the main influence behind my first attempt with "First Look."
Byron and his family now live in northern California where he works as a professor at California State University, Chico in the communications department (by the way, he owns a tweed jacket and i'm working on finding him a pipe). When he is not teaching the youth of California non-verbal communication skills, he is actively applying his trade.
A few examples of Byron's professional work includes:
1. Third View - where he worked as a main photographer and project director (if you are a photographer or homeschooler - this site is a must visit - very cool!)
2. Yosemite In Time - where he teamed with others to provide a photographic and historical look at yosemite park.
3. And then there is my personal favorite (at the top of the post): Everyday, where he photographically walks the reader through a year in his life (one day at a time). Some of my favorite all time photographs are contained in this book, but it's his depiction of time annually and seasonally that I find most enjoyable!
And here is the great news...if you live in the Central Valley, you have the opportunity to see things through his lens live and in person at
for the next few weeks at the Knowlton Gallery in Lodi, CA. It is worth the visit, if you are able!
Quietly making noise,
fletch
On my iPod - Artists beginning with "N"
Nat King Cole - Orange Colored Sky - flash! bam! alakazam! This is a hip little song with strong horns and some funky big band background vocals!
Neil Diamond - "Sweet Caroline" - for obvious reasons, mangogirl#2 loves to hear this song played loudly (with dancing if at all possible!).Newsboys - "In Christ Alone" - not a huge fan of the Newsboys, but mangoboy #2 is a huge fan. I even took him to Spirit West Coast this year to hear the Newsboys and I got hit with Capn' Crunch.
Nirvana - "Smells Like Teen Spirit" - definitely not a fan of Nirvana or Cobain, but this song definitely helps me run the extra lap. and it is clearly not a song that I put on for Kendra to listen to...
Norah Jones - "Don't Know Why" - great for soundtracks and iMovies...