Ridiculous Candy #9 - Acid Drops
Photo courtesy of Mark
I am really enjoying this guest submission deal I have going on with the readers of theMangoTimes. Thanks to Mark, I have one more absolutely ridiculous candy to add to the list. The folks at Tesco must be very proud of their "Acid Drops" candy. They are providing a great service to kids by allowing them the "fun of drugs" without the addiction or the danger. You knew it was just a matter of time didn't you? Give me a break, candy manufacturers have been pushing the candy cigarettes on kids for the past thirty years...what did they expect would happen?
Of course kids would want something stronger...that's how the whole drug thing works. The candy cigarette is the "gateway" candy to the harder stuff. That's where it all starts...then, the next thing you know, kids start experimenting with the harder stuff and before you know it, they are hooked and sneaking over the boarder to buy illegal "hot tamales." They quit school and then you find them...unmotivated...snorting "pixie stix" and carrying their candy drug paraphenalia around in a little metal altoid boxes.
Thanks Mark! This one is truly ridiculous!
Quietly making noise,
Fletch
quietly making noise, fletch
Ridiculous Candy #8 - Boogers
The guest submission idea is taking off...this time it was Sandi that decided to jump into the mix. She sent this little item to me as a sampling from the "birthday express" catalog, where it was included in the "total gross" party theme. Also included was the "nose" pinata with green snot coming out, tootsie-rolls collected in a fake toilet, a cut and bloody ear, a cockroach and a severed finger. This party was recommended for those age 3+ and you could send it all home in a specially designed barf bag.
Okay...fake poo and boogers...this sounds like a really good idea for a three year old birthday party. My three year old would be freaked out. What do you do when they turn four? Maybe you can throw a "dead animals" party or a "surprise! we are putting you up for adoption" bash.
Quietly making noise,
Fletch
Ridiculous Candy #7 - Tape Worms
Photo courtesy Pomaleedon
Once again, I've been treated to another guest submission by Pamela. As you may recall, she submitted the photo for the ridiculous toilet candy, but I think we have reached the bottom of the ridiculous candy barrel with this treat.
Candy tape-worms? I would rather snort pixie sticks up both nostrils then eat candy tape worms. I would love to have been in the room during product development when the genius suggested creating the tape worm candy. Seriously, has this company even taken the time to acknowledge that this candy is based on a gastrointestinal parasitic infection?
Believe me...I'm not into boycotting, but I think we should let this candy company know how we feel before the research and development team begins full production of any more of their brilliant creations. If not, be prepared for yummy milk-chocolate "hemorrhoid candy" or the new fruity flavored "ulcer gum." Maybe it is just me (and I don't think it is...), but basing a candy product on any portion of the digestive tract just might be the most ridiculous candy I have ever seen.
Thanks Pamela for scooping this one out and for being willing to go back to the store with your camera to get a picture of this yummy treat. Your commitment to insuring quality in theMangoTimes is unparalleled (and unchallenged) to this point!
Quietly making noise,
Fletch
Ridiculous Candy #6 - Toilet Candy
Photo Courtesy Pomaleedon
I suppose it is time to add a category for guest submissions, because this ridiculous candy was found by Pamela and company. Not much really needs to be said about this candy, except for the obvious: a candy plunger is used to scoop the sugar crystals from inside the toilet. Hmmm...I think I taste a little throw-up in my mouth... It's one thing if you want to turn necklaces into candy or even a candy toothbrush, but toilet contents? I'm not sure I need another area of my life to remember/forget to put the seat down.
But you know what would make this even more fun? If it was pop-rocks inside the toilet. That way it could simulate a toilet explosion/plumbing problems. Regardless, this is just plain ridiculous.
Quietly making noise,
Fletch
Avast ye scurvy scum...it's time for TLAP Day
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I'll try to take any photos, but I would love to hear your plans for celebrating this year...that is, of course, if you are one who celebrates...
Quietly making noise...
Fletch
The "Letter to the Editor" I did not send...
Anyhow, I wanted to write a letter to the editor, but after some coaxing from my wife I decided to not send it. She pointed out that this could be one of those issues that people are highly opinionated about, and my opinion could be viewed as simply too offensive and heartless. But, I needed to vent on this issue, so I am including my letter to the editor here...where I don't always say the most popular things. Here it is below:
"Dear Editors,
I realize that I am probably in the minority on this one, but I could not disagree more with Mr. Bultena's article (8/31/07) and his fondness for roadside memorials. Don't get me wrong, I think remembering the dead and having memorials can be all well and good. I also have no big issue with remembering the spot where a traffic accident occurred. It is possible that this will even cause others to drive safely. I'm even fine with the cross, the candles, the flowers and the teddy bears, but does it need to remain there forever?
Our community has a place to remember the dead. It's called a cemetery or a memorial garden. I realize other cultures are very happy to build well tended death shrines and even visit that spot daily. In my opinion, these ongoing shrines (complete with candles, flowers, photos and teddybears) need to find their way into a cemetery and off our commuting roadways."
Quietly making noise,
Fletch
On my iPod - Artists Beginning With "K"
Klaus Badelt - "Pirates of the Caribbean soundtrack" - Mangoboy number one is 14 years old and is addicted to movie soundtracks. So I have let him download a few that end up on my computer.
Keb Mo - "God Trying to Get Your Attention" - you may have only heard of Keb Mo from Sesame Street or his support of liberal politicians (so does Jimmy Buffett), but that doesn't hide the fact that he plays great "hammock music" for me and the mangogirls when we swing together on a lazy afternoon.
Kermit the Frog - "Movin Right Along" - from the 25th anniversary edition of muppet music. What's not to like about muppets? By the way, do you have a favorite muppet?
The Kinks - "Come Dancing" - great song and a great reminder
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Kiri Te Kanawa - "O Mio Babino Caro" - everytime I hear this song, I think about our first few dates. We watched "A Room With A View" which is just a beautiful film, based on an e.m. forster novel of the same name. Kiri also happens to be my favorite Maori opera star (as if there are any more...).
Kendra Fletcher - "Fly" - clearly my favorite artist listed under "K." She recorded this song for me two years ago with Heather at the piano. I'll try and put it up on the podcast, once i figure out how to do it...
Quietly making noise,
Fletch
On my iPod - Artists Beginning With "S"
Sting - "Love is the Seventh Wave" - I loved the police when I was growing up...and Sting was one of the few performers that got even better when he went solo. Besides that...I dig the name...Sting...how very cool to have one name (like Cher and Bono).
Steve Martin - "Dentist" - from the musical, Little Shop of Horrors. One of my favorite dentist "clips" from a movie..."there he is boys...the leader of the plaque."
Steve Camp - "Abandoned to God" - one of my favorite Christian albums of all time. He is anti-music establishment, plays small venues, and writes great music!
Sergio Mendes - "The Fool on the Hill" - more cheesy sixties music!
Quietly making noise,
Fletch
2007 Family Photo
The official Fourth of July photo goes out in the mail today, but for those of you not on the mailing list and others that wanted a sneak peak, I thought you would like to see the unofficial family photo (otherwise known as: my answer to the question: can we take a goofy picture?).
Happy Fourth of July...
Fletch
At the End of the Day
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"Tired Boys"
Last night I was able to share a few minutes with Christian (between his late night meal and his bedtime). I realize that I am rarely on this side of the camera lens here, so sitting in my office with my MacbookPro (favorite all time computer) sitting in front of us, we snapped a few pictures as we were falling asleep together...
Quietly making noise,
Fletch
Stranger Than Fiction
The concept in this movie is brilliant, the cast is fantastic, and the acting was smashing. This movie opens doors for conversation on the discussion of free will. I don't want to spoil anything for you, because I think this movie should just be enjoyed. But, speaking in vague terms, who is in control of your life? Is it you or do you have someone else authoring your life? Is there a supreme author in all of our lives? Do you have a role in deciding each and every page of the book and how the chapter turns and twists, or are you written in and out of scenes at the will of the writer?
Jeremiah 29:11 - "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope."
Quietly making noise,
Fletch
On my iPod - Artists Beginning with "G"
Glenn Miller - "In the Mood" - I have the entire collection, but this is the classic piece from his orchestra that best symbolizes the music from the WWII era. I can remember hearing this every morning on the AM radio in the kitchen (KLIV - "The Music of Your Life" in San Jose, Ca) as I ate my breakfast and got ready for school.
Garrison Keillor - not music, but if you haven't signed up for the "Lake Wobegon podcast" you don't know what you are missing. A Prairie Home Companion is one of my favorite radio shows and the highlight is the news from Lake Wobegon where "the women are strong, the men are good looking and all the children are above average."
Guns n' Roses - "Welcome to the Jungle" - so there are some things from college I cannot shake. actually I keep this song for waking up the house, pushing me that extra bit when running, or just keeping people on their toes who think they know me...
Gypsy Kings - "Bambaleo" - summertime, the back porch, and fuzz buzzes...did I mention it was almost time for peaches again?
Gene Autry - "Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer" - minimum playtime...one time per year...but classic
Quietly making noise,
Fletch
On my iPod - Artists beginning with "A"
Astrud Gilberto (with Joao Gilberto and Stan Getz) - "The Girl from Ipanema" - I can remember listening to this song regularly when I worked at Wine Wizards in Stockton with Byron. Great memories of good wine, great bread and a ton of fun in the first year of marriage.
Al Jolson - "The Spaniard that Blighted my Life" - old 30's/40's comedy cd i own. really funny duo song with bing crosby.
Apologetix - "Baa! We're lambs" - this group is the Weird Al Yankovic of Christian music. This song is a parody of the Beach Boy's "Barbara Ann." If you want a good giggle, go to their site for free downloads. These guys are pretty good.
Alan Jackson - "It's Five o'clock Somewhere" - great tune...and often played on the back porch!
Quietly making noise,
Fletch
Braniac Inventions, #1
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I wonder why no one has thought about people-sized paper towels? Think about it...you get out of the shower and right next to the door, is a big roll of huge paper bath towels. You could rip them off the perforation and then wrap yourself in the "quilted quicker-picker upper" Bounty, or for the men that are reading, consider drying with a jumbo Brawny towel! When you are done, there is no cleanup, no laundry...just large wadded up balls of paper sitting in the garbage (or "near" the garbage can...if you live with a husband like me.)
Always fresh, always dry, and quite possibly in a variety of colors and prints that match your bathroom.
And that's not the best part...consider the size of the cardboard tube you would have when you finished the roll! my boys would love that part! The only negative aspect would be if you lived with someone who doesn't replace the empty roll...
So, what about you? Any great inventions you've wanted to bring up and haven't had the time? share them with us!
Quietly making noise,
Fletch
On my iPod - Artists Beginning with "H"
Hank Williams, Sr. - I Saw the Light- I downloaded this song off iTunes because I remember watching Johnny Cash sing it in an episode of Columbo...but there is no recording of Cash singing it...drats! Hank's version is not too bad!
Hootie and the Blowfish- Only Wanna Be With You- A few years ago I won some tickets at Rotary to hear Hootie in Downtown Modesto. kenj and heather ended up going and enjoying a fun summer concert. His music always reminds me of college life.
Harry Belafonte - Jump in the Line - you might remember it from the end of the movie "Beetlejuice." Great little Caribbean tune that gets the mangokids jumping and dancing when we do the dishes at night.
Quietly making noise,
Fletch
On my iPod - Artists Beginning with "F"
Frank Sinatra - Young at Heart - Some can't stand Frankie, but old blue eyes had a set of pipes and there is something about his Vegas/Mafia connections that I find intriguing.
Flip Phillips - A Smooth One - great jazz song and favorite of theMangoTimes.
Quietly making noise,
Fletch
New Category - Letters to the Editor
"OK...can I just say that first of all it is amazing to me that you do a newsletter of any kind whatsoever given your very busy life. Honestly, I've decided that you must not sleep at all...or maybe only when you are DEAD tired. Anyway...glad to get the update."
Editor's Note: You caught me and you are correct...I don't sleep (unless you count sitting at red lights with my eyes closed or the occasional nap after dinner when the girlies rub my feet)...Currently I'm running on less then 6hours/day...which leaves only 18 hours for work, family, church and dancing with the babe.
"Hey while spooling through channels last night...there was this crazy family that believed toothpaste is "toxic" to our bodies and they brush with a mixture of butter and clay. I wouldn't really think of asking my dentist this question...even though I consider her a pretty cool gal...but I thought you might have a thought?"
Editor's Note: There is so much to comment on here...especially the idea that butter and clay is better for you then "toxic toothpaste." It cannot be any worse than the mulitiple toothpaste flavors being created daily by the Wizards at Crest. Second, note how this friend of mine wouldn't think of asking her "real dentist" about the wacko adobe butter using patients, but seems to have no problem throwing the questions past me. Do i look like a beacon for truth concerning the bizzaro? (I will withdraw that question...).
Quitely making noise,
Fletch
On my iPod - Artists Beginning with "C"
Carl Douglas - "Kung Fu Fighting" - everybody was kung fu fighting! My wife cringed when I first unleashed this in the kitchen after dinner - like our boys need the encouragment!
Crosby, Stills and Nash - "Marrakesh Express" - this was the first album I bought after bringing home my VW bus.
Choir of King's College, Cambridge - "O Thou in Whose Presence" - beautiful choral arrangements of my favorite hymns.
Clark Terry/Chico O'farrell - "Mexican Hat Dance" - I know that you are humming it right now in your head, just because you read those words. I'm thinking of buying an official sombrero.
The Commodores - "Brick House" - she's mighty mighty...
Quietly making noise,
Fletch
On my iPod - Artists Beginning with "J"
Jimmy Buffett - "I don't Know and I Don't Care" - great little tune about living life on the periphery, hence the title.
Johnny Cash - "I Walk the Line" - the man in black. I love listening to Cash. Did you catch Joaquin Phoenix in the movie?
John Coltrane - "Epistrophy" - great jazz with the Thelonius Monk quartet. This piece especially makes me feel like I'm in a smoky club checking out some good tunes.
Joey DeFrancesco - "Fly Me to the Moon" - more jazz. I would love to have this as background music to my day to day life.
Quietly making noise,
Fletch
theMT Recommendations - July 06
Pirates of the Caribbean, Part Two: I stopped recommending movies a long time ago. It seems there are many homeschoolers with opinions toward film and culture...so I'm not recommending that you go see this movie. I'm just saying that I liked this movie...saavy?
French Exchange Students: Not all students...just ours. Elise was with us for nearly two months - it was a great experience that is worthy of it's own blog.
Crackling Cactus: This is a firework that was a smash at this year's event. Remember, in California, we have to use these wimpy fireworks - nothing big or in the air...
Flora Springs Wines: We spent our 15th anniversary in Napa Valley. I was able to make it by FS for another great tasting. I recommend their estate wines, as well as a new winery they started called "Toad's Hall" which pours a great full bodied red called "Bodacious."
Cambazola: I am a lover of good flavors. I used to work at a little bistro in the valley that served cheese and fruit boards and I fell in love with good cheeses. Cambazola remains a favorite. It is soft and creamy (like brie) with a streak of bleu cheese down the middle for some bite!
Quietly making noise,
Fletch