Dear Abby, Again

Four years ago, I wrote a blog post called Dear Abby. It was a fun reference to the old advice column that ran in the daily newspapers when I grew up. In my post I shared simple advice that I left with my daughter as I dropped her off at college. Time has flown. This week we drove to Southern California to celebrate that same daughter as she graduated from college. I thought it would be fun to revisit my original blog post and revisit the advice as she prepares to embark on her next life adventure.

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“Dear Abby, four years ago we dropped you off at college. At the time, I recognized that the years of active parenting were done. The day-to-day conversations we shared as dad and daughter were not going to happen as easily as when you were home. Instead, they were replaced with hand-written letters and the multiple text and video messages we have come to rely upon. At the time I left you with very simple advice: It’s all about Jesus!

Four years ago, I wanted you to know that no matter what college provided in the form of blessing or challenge, from relationships to education to religion to behavior, none of them would provide you with an identity or hope like you can find in Jesus alone.

Jesus is always the better choice.

I believe those four years that you lived on campus brought you all of those opportunities. Your faith was challenged. You were forced to ask questions as to what you believe. Your relationships were refined. Friendships were deepened. You grew up and away from your upbringing and were allowed to become who you are today.

Now, with your diploma in hand as you leave your undergraduate education to become a grad student and begin focusing closer on your career, allow me to remind you again. It’s all about Jesus! Sorry, the advice doesn’t change. As you face opportunities and make life choices, Jesus will always bring the better choice. I realize that this can sound either trite or confusing, so let me explain.

Choosing a career is very important. Where you choose to work and what you choose to do are important decisions. You will be enticed by salaries, benefits, locations, and jobs that seem amazing. Those are all very good things, but they are lousy places to put your hope. Unlike college kids from anytime in recent history, your education was disrupted on a global scale and you were given a front row to see how this statement rings true and just how quickly all of the promises of a career can disappear. Education can fail us. Financial systems can fail us. The government can fail us. Even your communities of friends can fracture over simple things.

However, when you put your hope in Jesus and remember that because God loves you, then you can live as loved and know that He will meet all of your needs. Putting your hope in Him frees you to follow Him and trust Him. Throughout 2020, I hope you were able to witness how when it comes down to the basics: It is all about Jesus.

It’s not a formula, but when your life is centered on the gospel (the belief that Jesus saves you and you don’t save yourself) and that God loves you and wants the best for you, then you can live in the center of that love and make decisions out of freedom. Your relationships change. Your desires change. How you live out your life changes.

Abby, if there is anything I want for you as you graduate this week, it is this: Live in the freedom that allows you to love and serve God wherever He leads you.

Mom and I love you. We are so proud of you.

It’s all about Jesus,
Dad